The Stages Of The Affair

There are basically four stages to the start of an affair. They are
bonding, secrecy, dating, and intimacy.

BONDING: In this stage, the participants basically start down the
slippery slope. At this stage of the game, they probably see each
other at work or the gym or maybe even after work with other coworkers
for a drink. They talk with each other and it all seems
innocent enough. However, as they get to know each other better,
they begin to talk more intimately and start growing closer. Soon,
emotional sparks start to fly and they are on their way.

SECRECY: The secrecy starts when the participants start to feel that
they are the only ones in the world that understand each other. They
stop telling others about their “friendship”. They no longer confide in
their spouse or their friends about this special relationship. They feel
that their situation is unique and shouldn’t be shared with anybody.
Feelings of love start to enter the picture.

DATING: Once the secrecy stage has been reached, they find more
and more reasons to go it alone. Just a cup of coffee, or a movie, or
maybe even a walk in the park. They justify this activity to
themselves because they are “just friends” or “just co-workers”.
Nothing is really going on so there isn’t an issue.

INTIMACY: The final step. Now they have crossed the line into a full
blown sexual relationship. The secrecy and deception surrounding
the relationship makes it all the more exciting. They are so blind to
the facts when they are with each other that they may be making
promises of commitment to each other. With no regard to their
families and those they love, they continue the affair, sometimes for
years, until they are caught or one of them breaks it off.

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